How To Australian (w/ censored naughty language)

[pappadumplingz]

Here is a all in juan guide on being Australian, by yours truly

 

Animals

- Don't mess with them, they don't mess with you, simple.

- Use your common sense, not all animals won't not mess with you, if you go for a swim at the beach at 10:30 at night, expect to be eaten by a shark or croc

- Beware of Drop Bears, very dangerous, will kill you and take your coral

- Kangaroos aren't a form of transport. It's hard to believe right?

- Spiders: Although most are harmless, they are still scary as sh*t

 

Slang

Here are a few slang phrases

G'day: Self explanatory, but for you feeble minded Americans, Good+Day=G'day. Not too many people say it

 

Arvo: Afternoon

 

Maccas: McDonalds

 

Cuppa: A cup of tea

 

Mate: What we call strangers

 

C*nt: What we call friends

 

Tradie: Tradesmen (building houses and stuff)

 

Sparkie: Electrician

 

Cabbie: Taxi Driver

 

Fair Dinkum: Essentially means I agree, or truth

 

F*cken Oath: Essentially means I agree, or truth

 

Bikkie: Biscuits

 

Bloke: a guy

 

Durry: Cigarette

 

Durry Muncher: Smoker

 

The Dole: Welfare payment

 

Relos: Relatives

 

Government

Just because we have high taxes doesn't mean we are communist. Sure our major left wing party is semi socialist, and yes socialism is a form of Marxism, but that doesn't make us "commies". Our major right wing party, which is currently in office, happens to be semi capitalist orientated, so i guess you would be happy?

 

Now you have the knowledge to become a true blue aussie, but I have some questions for you Americans.

 

 

Why Hillary?

 

Why Trump?

 

Why not Bernie(I know he is socialist, but that isn't bad)?

 

Why do you hate anything to do with communism?

[RayWhisperer]

Lol.

What we have here in America is a battle between the 2 worst possible candidates. I think most Americans wouldn't argue that. The only reason I can see anyone voting for either, is simply because they hate, or fear, the other more. Now don't get me wrong. There are nut jobs on both sides who view their chosen candidate as great, or dare I even say, "qualified".

[RollaJase]

Yeah Nah = No

Nah Yeah = Yes

 

These two are imperative to master lol.

[RayWhisperer]

It would help if everyone voted here. Isn't there a fine if your don't vote in Australia?

I'm really not trying to call you out, here. I'm curious, though. How would it help if everyone here voted? Especially in our current case/predicament? Both parties had unelectable clowns running in the primaries, and now both have the worst possible of the clowns running in the general.

[RollaJase]

It would help if everyone voted here. Isn't there a fine if your don't vote in Australia?

Yeah, there is a fine, but its not enough to deter some people. In the election we had this year something like 1 million people didn't vote, that's like 1/17th our total population

[Clown79]

I'm not American but am neighbour to them.

 

I wouldn't want to vote on ANY of the current candidates.

 

Here in Cda we had one of the largest turn outs for the last election- it took a young candidate with new views to get ppl interested. The younger generations were sick of the old choices.

 

I don't agree with forced voting. Its redundant to make a choice if the choice is forced.

[vegasgundog]

Forced voting would be a terrible idea. If you don't actually pay taxes and are supported by the tax payer, you shouldn't be allowed to vote. That's why we have Killary and trump now.

[metrokat]

Sheila - female

[RayWhisperer]

guppy- great white shark

Fosters- beer

[Cencalfishguy56]

I think politics is always a tough subject as some people are very opinionated and feel basically locked in to their own party for whatever reason, I for one vote for whoever I feel would benefit me the most as an American no matter the party, as for candidates it's definitely the lesser of two evils, the rnc was a mess and I didn't even have to watch it, the DNC was literally handed the spotlight and trump continuously makes an ass of himself and tbh kinda makes me mad with his remarks, as for Bernie that's a guy who genuinely cares about people, if you ask me id rather have Obama again over both of em but hey that's why I delve into reefing, politics will make you go nuts! Lol

[RollaJase]

Sanga = Sandwich

Ranga = Red haired person (shortened from orangutan)

Dero = A derelict, a hobo, a bum

Dole Bludger = Someone who lives off the welfare system with no ambition

Houso = Someone who lives in government housing

Mad C**t = The highest honour/title a friend can bestow on another friend (example, Jase is a mad c**t!)

Cobber = old bushman speak, would use it when talking to a stranger who's name you don't know

[RayWhisperer]

Lol! Mad ####! That's my new favorite term!

[RollaJase]

Lol! Mad ####! That's my new favorite term!

The opposite is S**t C**t when you do something really bad haha.

[RayWhisperer]

So, what's Rolla, Jase?

I'll clarify for the inevitable feeble minded Aussie. I know your name is Jase, hence the comma between the two.

 

Edit; I guess my spell check didn't like you're name. Sorry bout that, Mad ####.

[RollaJase]

Nothing sinister with the name. Yes my name is Jason and the Rolla part came from when I used to own an Toyota AE86 Corolla project car. I basically just ported over my forum handle from the car forum to this one when I set the tank up. Although, Rolla could be interpreted as High Roller, or Baller I guess.

[RayWhisperer]

I was thinking you might have been a pro skater, or something.

[RollaJase]

Haha, no, nothing like that, although that would be really cool! First time I got on a skateboard was my last time, I split my head open on the pavers. What a father's day it was for dad that year lol.

[RayWhisperer]

I'll drink a frothy, frosty, ####ing Fosters to you, Mad ####!

[RollaJase]

I'll drink a frothy, frosty, ####### Fosters to you, Mad ####!

I appreciate it kind sir .

 

On, and number one common misconception (pappadumplingz should add this to the first post). Yes, Foster's is an Australian beer but it is the most garbage beer known to man! It only became popular internationally due to the Crocodile Dundee movies but you will be hard pressed to find an Aussie say they like the stuff. I believe it is brewed almost purely for export now.

[jack1978]

Sanga = Sandwich

Ranga = Red haired person (shortened from orangutan)

Dero = A derelict, a hobo, a bum

Dole Bludger = Someone who lives off the welfare system with no ambition

Hauso = Someone who lives in government housing

Mad C**t = The highest honour/title a friend can bestow on another friend (example, Jase is a mad c**t!)

Cobber = old bushman speak, would use it when talking to a stranger who's name you don't know

Ranga! LOL!

[RayWhisperer]

I appreciate it kind sir .

 

On, and number one common misconception (pappadumplingz should add this to the first post). Yes, Foster's is an Australian beer but it is the most garbage beer known to man! It only became popular internationally due to the Crocodile Dundee movies but you will be hard pressed to find an Aussie say they like the stuff. I believe it is brewed almost purely for export now.

It's the same everywhere. No Mexicans drink corona, no Americans drink Budweiser, no Germans drink warsteiner, and no Dutch drink Heineken.

[NaCl H2O]

Checking in from the land down under. Any other strayans on this forum? Aussie aussie aussie.....

[RayWhisperer]

Oh, look! Another C*nt!

[RollaJase]

Checking in from the land down under. Any other strayans on this forum? Aussie aussie aussie.....

Oi oi oi!

[patback]

It's the same everywhere. No Mexicans drink corona, no Americans drink Budweiser, and no Dutch drink Heineken.

I like all of those.