Oh... Gallery.

[Satchmo]

I read the name of this new forum quickly and thought it said "galley." Figured Ajro had finally convinced Sir Christopher to add an "eat your reef creatures" forum.

[adinsxq]

that was a funny thread

[Crakeur]

and satch is the first to break the 3 commandments of the photo gallery:

 

As most of us know, this hobby can quickly turn you into a photographer. Sharing photos of the creatures in your tank is almost as fun as the tank itself. This forum was created to provide a place for members of Nano-Reef.com to post photos of things in their reef aquariums, as well as share experiences and tips on photographing aquariums. This is also a place to ask for help and suggestions about cameras and taking photos.

 

Rules:

1.) Stay on topic - please keep the photo subjects to reef aquariums

2.) Don't post huge images - please resize all photos before posting them, and take dial up users into consideration.

3.) Conserve space - don't post a whole bunch of images of the same thing. Storage and bandwidth aren't free.

 

 

way to go kev.

[SeaMountain]

Yeah and *I* get blamed for hijacking an occasional thread!

 

Way to go Reefreaks! 8)

[Satchmo]

I object to these baseless accusations and contend that my post, albeit out of accord with a rather provincial interpretation of collectively accepted etiquette, is not in violation of the Three Commandments as postulated by Crakeur. So as to not deviate from the established theme of this thread (and thereby commit hijackery), allow us now to examine the evidence before us, and determine if said post conforms to Marksonian Mandate.

 

The Rules, as decreed by Sir Marks, and graciously rehashed by Crakeur, are as follows:

 

1.) Stay on topic - please keep the photo subjects to reef aquariums

 

First off, we must acknowledge that no photo was included in the offending post. But does this omission constitute a First Commandment breach? Certainly there is no stipulation that a photo must be included in a valid post. If an off-topic image was inserted (e.g. one of the many public domain images of Crakeur in drag) than the prosecuting parties in this action would have a legitimate argument. In the absence of a photo however, we must look to the content of the post to determine its validity.

 

The post in question makes an observation concerning the very forum itself. Is it on-topic in terms of the proposed forum content? That is, is it a sharing of photographs from a member’s reef? No, but it is certainly not off-topic either. The very fact that the post makes a specific reference and observation of the Gallery Forum places it on-topic and renders it entirely germane.

 

I call into precedent the initial posts in other recently added forums. The first few threads in the Refugium Forum for example, look something like, “Good job Chris!” or “Nice addition!” Neither of these relate to the utilization of refugia in reef aquaria. Rather it is the fact that they offer commentary on the nature of the forum itself that lends credence to their appropriateness.

 

2.) Don't post huge images - please resize all photos before posting them, and take dial up users into consideration.

 

Again, no images were posted, so The Second Commandment was likewise not infringed upon. But to use the established example, if I had manipulated and enlarged the photo of Crakeur in drag to show that he does indeed wax his ass hair, then this current criticism would be justified.

 

With regard to taking dial-up users into consideration, I will freely admit my wonton neglect of these unfortunate creatures. In this case however, my actions placed no undue stress on said members or their 56K connections.

 

3.) Conserve space - don't post a whole bunch of images of the same thing. Storage and bandwidth aren't free.

 

Once again, the exclusion of a picture in said post renders The Third Commandment a non-issue. I won’t mention the absurd amount of bandwidth that could be squandered were the Crackette Files all to be posted simultaneously.

 

Interestingly, this frivolous accusation and its warranted response will surely consume more system resources than the initial infraction would have, had it gone unchallenged. Tort reform now.

 

Ladies and Gentleman, this is not about whether Satchmo took a few liberties and bent a few forum rules. Perhaps I did. But you cannot hold one member accountable for stretching the interpretation of a loosely clad collection of Commandments which allow for such exploitation. For if you do, isn’t the system administrator to blame? And if the system administrator is to blame, isn’t this an accusation on the entire Nano-Reef community? And if it is, isn’t this an indictment of our society in general? I ask you –isn’t this an indictment of America? Well, you can say what you will about me, but I will not sit here and let you badmouth the United States of America!

[caja]

LMAO! Way to go Satchmo!

[Crakeur]

Gentlemen!

 

(humming patriotic tune).

 

Without exhibits of said photos of Crakeur in drag, his hairy (or waxed) ass and these links to refugia thread posts not pertaining to refugia, your claims are baseless.

 

YOU'RE out of order! YOU'RE out of order! THE WHOLE TRIAL IS OUT OF ORDER! THEY'RE OUT OF ORDER! That man, that SICK, CRAZY, DEPRAVED man, posted incorrectly in this forum and he'd like to do it again! It's just a show! It's a show! It's "Let's Make a Deal!" "Let's Make a Deal!" Hey Chris, you wanna make a deal?! I got an insane administrator who likes to build tanks! Whaddaya wanna gimme Chris, three weeks probation?

 

SATCHMO IS GUILTY! THAT MAN, THERE, THAT MAN IS A SLIME! HE IS A SLIME! IF HE'S SUPPOSED TO GO FREE, THEN SOMETHING REALLY WRONG IS GOIN' ON HERE!

[Satchmo]

You're entitled to exhibits? You're entitled to proof? The burden is on you my friend. I come here to post for a better board. I post for freedom. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

 

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for shattered regulations and you curse my name. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That an off topic post, a hijacked thread -while tragic, probably saves lives.

 

You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you

don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need

me there.

 

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself

to a man who rises and sleeps under the very blanket of the freedom I provide, and then questions the manner in which I

provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on

your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a keyboard and compose an inappropriate post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to.

[Crakeur]

Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of order is Mr. Satcmo! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too f*ckin' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago I'd take a flame-thrower to this place. Out of order, who the hell do you think you're talking to? I've been around you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen, threads like these, younger than these, their posts torn out, their usefullness ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated thread, there is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot-soldier back home to the lounge with his tail between his legs but I say that you are executing his soul. And why? Because he's not a nano-reef man. Nano-reef men, you hurt this boy, you're going to be nano-reef Bums, the lot of ya. And Sea, Kennerd, and ESPI, wherever you are out there, f*ck you too.

[kennerd]

You want the photo gallery? You want the photo gallery??

 

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PHOTO GALLERY! (much less yourselves, for that matter)

 

Time for Crakeur to go play a happy game of hide and go f*ck himself.

[Crakeur]

mmmmm, I love that game.

[Satchmo]

Classic stuff. We could dig deep into the archives here and really start stretching Jack and Al soliloquies, but Crak brought out Scent: the undisputed king of melodramatic speeches. No point in continuing now.

[Crakeur]

Satch, it is clear that you are in no position to disagree. I've got a loaded .45 , you got pimples

[kennerd]

Great, Crak bringing out his scent...great.