Soon to be new dad question?

[Nocturnal]

48 minutes ago, ChristopherDido said:

@Nocturnal I wouldn't even know where to get Earthquake straps in the Midwest lol.  But I will find some way to anchor it more securely that stand from JBJ does not seem to be too sturdy in the long run, I'm trying to look for ideas online for a good build plan for a stand, I can do some woodworking and feel confident that I can build one.  I built one in college that was really sturdy and held a 29 gallon and survived intact for 3 moves.  I did that with very simple hand tools and definitely have better tools now.

 

As for the lights, thank you for those links, makes me think I am definitely making the right decisions here and beginning to think like a parent lol.  When I drain it down when the new stand is ready I will probably replace the sand being I have had that sand for over a year now.

 

Thanks for all the input and advice!

 

I'm in KC but like many things, I got mine from Amazon.  I liked these because they don't require drilling into your stand/tank.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Quakehold-4161-Furniture-Strap-Kit/dp/B000FJU2H2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523384014&sr=8-1&keywords=earthquake+straps

 

I actually remembered on the light,  I added small lip/shade to the front of my halide fixture using sheet metal that I painted to match so that I wouldn't have to lower it too much.

[Orangutran]

2 hours ago, Nocturnal said:

I'm in KC but like many things, I got mine from Amazon.  I liked these because they don't require drilling into your stand/tank.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Quakehold-4161-Furniture-Strap-Kit/dp/B000FJU2H2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523384014&sr=8-1&keywords=earthquake+straps

 

I actually remembered on the light,  I added small lip/shade to the front of my halide fixture using sheet metal that I painted to match so that I wouldn't have to lower it too much.

Wow never knew that velcro can be strong enough to keep a cabinet from toppling over!!

[Nocturnal]

19 minutes ago, Orangutran said:

Wow never knew that velcro can be strong enough to keep a cabinet from toppling over!!

I was surprised at how strong that stuff was. It isn't easy to separate when pulling 90 degrees away so the ability to withstand shearing force has to be really high.

[JBM]

I'm just gonna leave this here. She was 7-8 months old when this was taken.  We have 4. Yes, you read that right. 4 little ones. Well, some of them aren't exactly so little now. 11, 10, 8 & 3. The boy is the oldest, then my 3 angels girls. 

 

Keep your tank. Your over thinking things entirely. And congratulations. Babies are blessings. 

[Sancho]

Your overthinking this.  Don't let the kidlings wreck your hobby like stated above strap the tank stand to the wall, many options available. I think Ikea is now selling straps to keep dressers from falling over. My kids love the tanks and after awhile you get free labor to feed and scrape the algae my 4 year old has been feeding the tank now for a couple years. 

[MSunkin23]

Awesome picture JBM,

 

I just re-started my tank now that my twins are two. Here are some considerations I made knowing that my kids are wild. I ended up with a closed top biocube. Personally I don't think you will have an issue with the tank, but I would not run it open top until they are a bit older and know not to stare at it.

 

1. I wanted a closed top tank so they can't put things in the tank. As it is, I have to hide the algae cleaner because they think this is the best game in the world.

2. I did not want a hanging light, so the closed top tank was most appealing (stinks because I liked the IM Fusion tanks). I did not want my kids staring at the light. They live on the bottom 2ft of my house and they are looking at everything up from that angle. A lot of development happens in the first months and a very intense reef tank light probably isn't going to help.

3. My kids love the tank, they run to the tank to feed the fish.

4. I do not recommend an open top tank. All kids are different, but the probability of a packet of yogurt or applesauce going in there was too high for my liking.

 

Either way, I don't think you need to take a break. I would potentially be careful with any fragging and potential toxins that could be released (a lot of talk about that lately). There is no debate that a reef tank is an ecosystem with a life of its own. It respirates compounds into the air, whether or not those chemicals are beneficial, hazardous, or inert is up for debate.

 

Good luck, and congrats,

[reefinnewb]

I did it opposite. I got back into the hobby after a leave of 5ish years. All the complaining made me anxious. I had to channel my energy somehow. A tank build was it. Went with a 34 solana. Then when my son was born, I did maintenance during nap time or after bed time. Now he is three and feeds the tank. If you can, wait until after you get in your groove and make sure the finances are up to snuff. We had it all figured out until he decided to have a sensitivity to formula. We were spending about 400 a month just in formula for special stuff. That wasn't budgeted for and made for a rough year. Being a parent is amazing and sharing your love of something with them is the best. He has trouble with f's so its' "Daddy, can i weed the wishes?" Good luck and you'll be fine. We all make it through. Unless your partner is breastfeeding. Make sure to partake the best you can with night time feedings to give her a break. You'll learn to function on next to no sleep. 

 

Oh, also at a 10% cushion to daycare costs. We knew it was $$$$ but we had no idea how much. Even the crappy daycares are a lot! 

[ChristopherDido]

11 hours ago, JBM said:

I'm just gonna leave this here. She was 7-8 months old when this was taken.  We have 4. Yes, you read that right. 4 little ones. Well, some of them aren't exactly so little now. 11, 10, 8 & 3. The boy is the oldest, then my 3 angels girls. 

 

Keep your tank. Your over thinking things entirely. And congratulations. Babies are blessings. 

 

That's a great picture!  Thanks for sharing.  I agree I am overthinking things, probably a lot of things lately lol.

 

10 hours ago, MSunkin23 said:

Awesome picture JBM,

 

I just re-started my tank now that my twins are two. Here are some considerations I made knowing that my kids are wild. I ended up with a closed top biocube. Personally I don't think you will have an issue with the tank, but I would not run it open top until they are a bit older and know not to stare at it.

 

1. I wanted a closed top tank so they can't put things in the tank. As it is, I have to hide the algae cleaner because they think this is the best game in the world.

2. I did not want a hanging light, so the closed top tank was most appealing (stinks because I liked the IM Fusion tanks). I did not want my kids staring at the light. They live on the bottom 2ft of my house and they are looking at everything up from that angle. A lot of development happens in the first months and a very intense reef tank light probably isn't going to help.

3. My kids love the tank, they run to the tank to feed the fish.

4. I do not recommend an open top tank. All kids are different, but the probability of a packet of yogurt or applesauce going in there was too high for my liking.

 

Either way, I don't think you need to take a break. I would potentially be careful with any fragging and potential toxins that could be released (a lot of talk about that lately). There is no debate that a reef tank is an ecosystem with a life of its own. It respirates compounds into the air, whether or not those chemicals are beneficial, hazardous, or inert is up for debate.

 

Good luck, and congrats,

The Open Top debate, it settled in my head for sure.  My partner actually asked me why I wasn't going to upgrade, I explained that to her and she just looked at me like I was crazy at first, then more explaining and she was like "oooh, makes sense."

10 hours ago, Sancho said:

Your overthinking this.  Don't let the kidlings wreck your hobby like stated above strap the tank stand to the wall, many options available. I think Ikea is now selling straps to keep dressers from falling over. My kids love the tanks and after awhile you get free labor to feed and scrape the algae my 4 year old has been feeding the tank now for a couple years. 

I can't let it wreck my hobby.  I will find a way like i have done with so many other things. lol

 

58 minutes ago, reefinnewb said:

I did it opposite. I got back into the hobby after a leave of 5ish years. All the complaining made me anxious. I had to channel my energy somehow. A tank build was it. Went with a 34 solana. Then when my son was born, I did maintenance during nap time or after bed time. Now he is three and feeds the tank. If you can, wait until after you get in your groove and make sure the finances are up to snuff. We had it all figured out until he decided to have a sensitivity to formula. We were spending about 400 a month just in formula for special stuff. That wasn't budgeted for and made for a rough year. Being a parent is amazing and sharing your love of something with them is the best. He has trouble with f's so its' "Daddy, can i weed the wishes?" Good luck and you'll be fine. We all make it through. Unless your partner is breastfeeding. Make sure to partake the best you can with night time feedings to give her a break. You'll learn to function on next to no sleep. 

 

Oh, also at a 10% cushion to daycare costs. We knew it was $$$$ but we had no idea how much. Even the crappy daycares are a lot! 

Yeah, I've looked at Daycare, thought about a million other things lately that go into parenting... There is so much to think about.  She is planning to breastfeed at least at first, I know that doesn't always work out, but that's the plan for now, i already function on no sleep so no problem there.  I got a little overwhelmed yesterday and my partner was like let's go get dinner, walk and chill out for a few and talk, it helped.

 

I do want to say I am excited about having a kid, just a ball of nerves right now, I know we will make it through though.  Thanks for the responses.

[reefinnewb]

I literally cried for three hours after he was born, both out of sheer joy and I think a release of all the nerves. I spent 9 months being the rock for her and keeping all my fears and everything bottled up. Then he came, and so did the emotions. It was weird, I couldn't help it. LOL. 

[KuruptPixel]

My baby boy got here almost 2 weeks ago. I have always been a night owl. I can fall asleep and cat nap basically anywhere, anytime. I have learned I have the perfect sleep habits to deal with this newborn! It's been extremely liberating to think about a day in 24hrs instead of 'get up, go to work, need to get to bed early'. None of this really helps my wife because she can't fall asleep to save her life generally and all the baby wants is her and her milk! I keep the baby busy as much as I can so she can sleep.

 

Obviously I have only been a Dad for 2 weeks so I am certainly NOT an expert but I figure if I am gonna be up all the time and have all these previously unused hours in the day may as well make use of them! Tank maintenance will lack a bit but if you have an established routine you probably already have it down to a science. You probably aren't spending 5 hrs on a water change! Or if you do... you won't anymore haha. In the last month, aside from working my 'normal' job in film, I run and maintain the Salt Tank Society (which I'm shutting down for my new project) and started a whole new company - Reefessional Clothing Co. from the ground up.

 

So don't kill your hobbies - just re-time them!

 

Also, at this stage when their eyesight is basically large, dark/light blobs they will love the movement and light. My boy loves watching the caustics on the ceiling, it actually puts him to sleep! This probably has nothing to do with anything on this thread but I am new to this 'Dad Club' so I wanted to post something haha.

[lkoechle]

I'd upgrade when baby is 9 months.  Thats when we did ours and it was a good age for him.  He wasn't totally mobile yet so he rolled around the floor while I was working, still took two naps so I could work during nap time, and slept through the night so I wasn't overworking myself.  Whatever your plans are, also think about childproofing including if you'll need to fix it to wall studs.

[lkoechle]

2 hours ago, ChristopherDido said:

That's a great picture!  Thanks for sharing.  I agree I am overthinking things, probably a lot of things lately lol.

 

The Open Top debate, it settled in my head for sure.  My partner actually asked me why I wasn't going to upgrade, I explained that to her and she just looked at me like I was crazy at first, then more explaining and she was like "oooh, makes sense."

I can't let it wreck my hobby.  I will find a way like i have done with so many other things. lol

 

Yeah, I've looked at Daycare, thought about a million other things lately that go into parenting... There is so much to think about.  She is planning to breastfeed at least at first, I know that doesn't always work out, but that's the plan for now, i already function on no sleep so no problem there.  I got a little overwhelmed yesterday and my partner was like let's go get dinner, walk and chill out for a few and talk, it helped.

 

I do want to say I am excited about having a kid, just a ball of nerves right now, I know we will make it through though.  Thanks for the responses.

Buy her the book "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding"  It was a life saver for me.  I read it with both my kids.  Each child breastfed differently and I had issues with both (different issues).  And it does hurt in the beginning.  remember that, it hurt for the first month with both my kids.  Some women it never hurts, not me.  Both hurt like hell for the first few weeks. I think its because of teeny mouths so when they got a little bigger it didn't hurt at all but whatever.  Support her.  She will need it, there will be days she feels like quitting.  And while you should hear her out, you should also make sure its a decision she really wants.  There were days I told my husband I didn't want to breastfeed anymore and he would patiently listen to me and then ask if I could try for one more day or one more week, and I would.  "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" really really really really helped.  And breastfeeding support groups.   For being natural, its really hard.  Like childbirth  Okay, not that hard but being a parent is natural and hard, breastfeeding is no exception.  Buy her that book.

[ChristopherDido]

1 hour ago, KuruptPixel said:

 

Also, at this stage when their eyesight is basically large, dark/light blobs they will love the movement and light. My boy loves watching the caustics on the ceiling, it actually puts him to sleep! This probably has nothing to do with anything on this thread but I am new to this 'Dad Club' so I wanted to post something haha.

Thanks for the Advice, and welcome to Dad-Hood... I'll be there before I know it!  Congratulations!  

34 minutes ago, lkoechle said:

Buy her the book "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding"  It was a life saver for me.  I read it with both my kids.  Each child breastfed differently and I had issues with both (different issues).  And it does hurt in the beginning.  remember that, it hurt for the first month with both my kids.  Some women it never hurts, not me.  Both hurt like hell for the first few weeks. I think its because of teeny mouths so when they got a little bigger it didn't hurt at all but whatever.  Support her.  She will need it, there will be days she feels like quitting.  And while you should hear her out, you should also make sure its a decision she really wants.  There were days I told my husband I didn't want to breastfeed anymore and he would patiently listen to me and then ask if I could try for one more day or one more week, and I would.  "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" really really really really helped.  And breastfeeding support groups.   For being natural, its really hard.  Like childbirth  Okay, not that hard but being a parent is natural and hard, breastfeeding is no exception.  Buy her that book.

I will keep that book in mind and will probably go buy it for her today :-)  

 

All of these replies with people bragging on and showing off their kids and being proud is definitely making me feel better!  Thanks ya'll!  Maybe someday I'll be able to show off my kid's tank!

[Bergaquatics]

I started my 20g reef when my daughter was 3 months old. I have a heavy work schedule as well as the sleeping schedule of the baby is not the greatest experience. But she loves wathchig the tank. I keep maintenance to 20 min a day. Having kids teaches you time management. If something. Needs to be done you will find the time. 

[lake985]

Congratulations! Being a new dad is an awesome experience. If you ever wondered what's going on in your tank at 3am, worry no more. You'll be awake to check it out.

 

My wife and I have a 3-month old and we also wondered about him staring at the tank's led light (and lights in general); however, his pediatrician assured us that he's really staring at the contrasting space of light and dark and not so much at the light itself. He also loves staring at checkerboard patterns.

 

You've been given some excellent tips so far. The most significant tank-related change I've had to make was to alter my feeding and maintenance schedule to make sure it doesn't overlap with baby/family time. I always fed the tank when I got home from work and continued to do so out of habit, until my wife pointed out that it would be nice to get some help after a long day, especially around bedtime (she didn't quite put it so politely ). It was an honest oversight and a simple fix--change my lighting schedule by an hour or two and boom...everyone's happy and I get to play around with the tank after they're asleep. I now find myself washing filter socks, trimming chaeto, and doing other maintenance at strange hours.

[OPtasia]

Harbor freight. Harbor freight will have ratcheting tie down straps that you can use to secure your tank stand to the wall. I wouldn't start any new tank projects right now or until you get into your routine with the baby. You'll both be such zombies the first six months or so you won't even care about tank maintenance on the tanks you have now much less any new tank project. 

 

When the baby is young, you won't worry about UV and eye-light exposure because you won't be putting the baby directly under the lights. Once they start to crawl, you'll need to keep an eye on them and have the tank stand secured somehow to the wall or the floor. That's because your kid is going to want to crawl up that tank stand at some point. 

 

Parenting advice: There's websites that will give you estimates on how many to buy based on the age of your kid (in months), but definitely sign up for Amazon Prime and Amazon Moms. Prime comes with free shipping and Moms comes with deals, coupons, notifications and deep discounts on diapers and formula. You'll be spending more money on diapers and formula than anything else, so why not stock up and buy in bulk now. I know you're probably thinking Mommy's gonna breastfeed, but the truth is that it's incredibly inconvenient for Women to breastfeed as long as most would like. I'm all for it for the first three months or so, but my Wife eventually dried up and we had to switch to formula. Also, some women don't lactate enough and have to supplement with formula anyway. 

 

There's a few things in the baby world that are totally useless or a complete rip off. The first is a diaper genie, which is some sort of pail that hermetically seals your kids diapers in expensive poop bags because... well... poop stinks. You'll be better off just using a little trashcan with a lid on it, because your kid's gonna go through seven to fourteen diapers a day on average. The second useless thing we got was a bottle steamer, which we used once and then promptly ignored it in favor of the microwave for warming up formula or breast milk. The third useless thing for us was a bottle washer. Why buy a little useless non-working device for washing baby bottles rather than a perfectly good dishwasher with a sanitary setting. 

 

 

[Ranjib]

Congrats. 

I dont think you are being paranoid, but its a legitimate risk. I started reef keeping after we had our son (first kid). This is my very first salt water tank and I found the timing perfect as I had to stay back home longer, and the  kid loves it (now he is 2.5 year old, and feeds the fishu's ).

My tips will be keep it simple. Dont over complcate anything, go with basic setups with robust equipment. Feed minimal, enough to keep the fishes healthy. Use a larger ATO reservoir. Keep RO/DI water ready for emergency, and dont over complicate the water change process, its ok if you miss one or two minor chores (like trimming that coral, cleaning this corner etc) as long as you do the basic water change,, it will be just fine. Introduce changes less, may be one animal at a time every month or so...

 

Dont be worried about the light, they are very focused against the tank, what comes outside is mostly scattered, at least i have never seen him getting irritated or disturbed by it. As he grows up, we spend religiously 30-45 min staring at the tank, talking to various fishes, snails and coral, soo aftet he is awake from his afternoon nap. He is bit sluggish durin those time, and the tank cheers him up while he munches on some snacks

The tank has also been blessing during some hard nights, where he was sick or in pain (something as simple as gas causes lot of stess for them), and the tank under moonlight has always provided some joy , tranquility and source of curiousity.

 

 

and

 

 

 

 

[Ian44]

First thanks so much for posting this,! I too am expecting my first in August. 

 

My my concern is safety. I have Palys, should I pull them out and sell?

 

this is such a brilliant thread!

[ChristopherDido]

19 hours ago, Ranjib said:

Congrats. 

I dont think you are being paranoid, but its a legitimate risk. I started reef keeping after we had our son (first kid). This is my very first salt water tank and I found the timing perfect as I had to stay back home longer, and the  kid loves it (now he is 2.5 year old, and feeds the fishu's ).

My tips will be keep it simple. Dont over complcate anything, go with basic setups with robust equipment. Feed minimal, enough to keep the fishes healthy. Use a larger ATO reservoir. Keep RO/DI water ready for emergency, and dont over complicate the water change process, its ok if you miss one or two minor chores (like trimming that coral, cleaning this corner etc) as long as you do the basic water change,, it will be just fine. Introduce changes less, may be one animal at a time every month or so...

 

Dont be worried about the light, they are very focused against the tank, what comes outside is mostly scattered, at least i have never seen him getting irritated or disturbed by it. As he grows up, we spend religiously 30-45 min staring at the tank, talking to various fishes, snails and coral, soo aftet he is awake from his afternoon nap. He is bit sluggish durin those time, and the tank cheers him up while he munches on some snacks

The tank has also been blessing during some hard nights, where he was sick or in pain (something as simple as gas causes lot of stess for them), and the tank under moonlight has always provided some joy , tranquility and source of curiousity.

Adorable little one you got there! 

I'm trying to keep it simple and I am very much looking forward to the day where I can watch or little one in front of the tank! 

 

Holy cow so many new posts! This is awesome! @OPtasia I will definitely have my partner look into those, we already have prime, in sure she's probably found the"Mom's" side.

 

I'm have to catch up on others later.  Seriously thank you! 

 

@Ian44 seriously! I was not expecting this to get this big. And congrats on one in August too!

[Nocturnal]

My tank is now by our kitchen table. The kids watch it every morning while eating breakfast and usually during dinner. Every day they get to learn something new or ask questions about life or the equipment. (they are 3 and 5) It's a great thing to expose kids to. They love feeding the fish and helped me acclimate new coral last week.

[mndfreeze]

On 4/8/2018 at 5:46 PM, Jake270 said:

Man it hasn’t ever started haha. You’ll  be in over your head but you’ll be alright. I still don’t know who calls the shots. 

 

My oldest daughter is about to turn 18, youngest is 15.  Let me tell you, it never changes. hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fml.

 

 

[JBM]

On ‎4‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 11:27 AM, Ian44 said:

First thanks so much for posting this,! I too am expecting my first in August. 

 

My my concern is safety. I have Palys, should I pull them out and sell?

 

this is such a brilliant thread!

 

that's ultimately up to you, but the chances of you releasing a toxic paly juice plume isn't all that high. like less than 10%.... oh and not all palys are toxic either.

[ChristopherDido]

On 4/10/2018 at 1:14 PM, Nocturnal said:

I'm in KC but like many things, I got mine from Amazon.  I liked these because they don't require drilling into your stand/tank.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Quakehold-4161-Furniture-Strap-Kit/dp/B000FJU2H2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523384014&sr=8-1&keywords=earthquake+straps

 

I actually remembered on the light,  I added small lip/shade to the front of my halide fixture using sheet metal that I painted to match so that I wouldn't have to lower it too much.

I am definitely going to need to build a stand if I am going to use those.  As nice as the JBJ stand is, I am concerned that it will not be stable enough in the long run, seems a bit flimsy if hit or pressed on much at all. 

 

@Ranjib is that a JBJ you have on a dresser?  I like that setup with two tanks BTW.  Thinking I may need to do something like that for long term, I do have a 10 gallon that I think would make a great Invert and macro tank to fill in the space on a dresser.

 

@MSunkin23 I love the IM tanks too!  I have one in my classroom and it has a hanging pendant on it, I am still really thinking on upgrading the lighting on the NanoCube seriously looking at a retrofit.  Really wish I had seen the BioCube before buying the NanoCube, the lid seems so much lighter and sleeker, but I was a newb when I started my tank and was seriously in over my head and spent way to much on my tank lol.  Whoops.

 

On 4/12/2018 at 1:17 PM, lake985 said:

Congratulations! Being a new dad is an awesome experience. If you ever wondered what's going on in your tank at 3am, worry no more. You'll be awake to check it out.

 

My wife and I have a 3-month old and we also wondered about him staring at the tank's led light (and lights in general); however, his pediatrician assured us that he's really staring at the contrasting space of light and dark and not so much at the light itself. He also loves staring at checkerboard patterns.

 

You've been given some excellent tips so far. The most significant tank-related change I've had to make was to alter my feeding and maintenance schedule to make sure it doesn't overlap with baby/family time. I always fed the tank when I got home from work and continued to do so out of habit, until my wife pointed out that it would be nice to get some help after a long day, especially around bedtime (she didn't quite put it so politely ). It was an honest oversight and a simple fix--change my lighting schedule by an hour or two and boom...everyone's happy and I get to play around with the tank after they're asleep. I now find myself washing filter socks, trimming chaeto, and doing other maintenance at strange hours.

I'll get used to figuring it all out I'm sure... I am a little concerned about the learning curve of being a dad and really hope I don't overlook things like that, it's good that you and your wife figured it out and worked it out!

 

@Ian44I was wondering the same thing, ultimately though I went with the thinking of @JBM I wouldn't even be able to tell you which ones have toxin and which don't.  Hopefully this thread will help out many other soon to be dad's or newly minted dad's questioning their sanity at 3am lol

 

What are you fine folks thoughts on lowering the tank down to the ground so that our little will be able to look at it easier as they begin to move around?  Either way I am going to have to build a stand that will be more "sturdy" and could be bolted to the wall, I got a little bit of time think all this one over.

[Nocturnal]

Water changes will a pain and before you know it your little one will be dumping stuff in the tank and climbing in. 

 

Also wanted to mention that climbing is the big tip over risk. The smoother your stand the less likely that is. Of course the dresser in their room or your TV are probably far bigger risks. 

[MSunkin23]

My 2yr old son tossed a french fry with ketchup at the tank today. He was attempting to feed the clownfish I believe, so innocent to some extent. I said to myself, man am I glad I have a top on the tank.

 

I couldn't imagine any other way.