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Pod Your Reef

Sleezy deals and tricks.


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Reading somebody else's thread got me thinking," man, this is an expensive hobby. " what were some of the lies you told or downright sleazy things you have done or said to your loved ones to get your way. For example, I got a frogspawn for 14 dollars, some filter floss for 5, and some Xenia for 10; when my girlfriend innocently asked how much all of it was... "that store doesn't know what they are doing, I got all of this for 14 dollars and it should have been 75(or some other obscene amount)". She never questioned me.

 

The other night I also voluntarily brought her out to the more expensive restaurant for dinner out of our 2 choices, knowing that their would be a long wait and that there was a store I haven't been to in a while. ;). She thinks I'm just the perfect boyfriend, and I got my lfs fix.

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No lies here. If my wife found out I wasn't telling the truth she would not only be pissed at me, she would probably begin to resent the source of the lies. If something was $50, I tell her. I just make sure we can spend the money on it and also do something for her if she wants it. If we can't do both at once, I make sure we take turns to keep it from being a one-sided cash flow.

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There are no lies here either, though I don't always know the exact amount he spent I know around the price by how much he doesn't want to tell me, but he has never lied about it.

We have separate finances so he really doesn't have to, but if he out right lied to me I would know it and it would piss me off. Using your own money is one thing but bold face lying about it is just wrong. At some point she maybe looking to get you a gift and how is she going to feel (or think) when she starts researching and finds out price ranges and they are so off from what you have said right along? Plus I do a lot of the cleaning in the house and receipts get lost/dropped and if I was to find a blatant lie there would be hell to pay and trust to be earned.

If this is something you love to do then there should be no shame in it. Sometimes you may over spend but, but if you can afford it, be honest about it.

I guess I would ask why you feel ashamed of how much you spend on your tank?

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why not use the philosophy, you must sell some crap to buy some new crap..at least it covers 75% of the cost ...

That's how I finance all my hobbies. Sell something on ebay or craigslist to finance my next big purchase.

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I did this only once. I spent a small bonus I got from work on a Vortech MP10 without telling her. Problem is I couldn't help but show off all the features it had and she slowly started to figure out that it wasn't an ordinary pump. Never doing that again...

 

What I do now is complete honesty but I emphasize when I get a good deal on something... wifey loves a bargain

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There are no lies here either, though I don't always know the exact amount he spent I know around the price by how much he doesn't want to tell me, but he has never lied about it.

We have separate finances so he really doesn't have to, but if he out right lied to me I would know it and it would piss me off. Using your own money is one thing but bold face lying about it is just wrong. At some point she maybe looking to get you a gift and how is she going to feel (or think) when she starts researching and finds out price ranges and they are so off from what you have said right along? Plus I do a lot of the cleaning in the house and receipts get lost/dropped and if I was to find a blatant lie there would be hell to pay and trust to be earned.

If this is something you love to do then there should be no shame in it. Sometimes you may over spend but, but if you can afford it, be honest about it.

I guess I would ask why you feel ashamed of how much you spend on your tank?

Wow, not the kind of response I was expecting. She's asked me about picking stuff up for me and I've told her not unless I'm with her b j know what I can keep and wht I can't.

 

It's not that I lied to her bc I can't afford it or bc we share expenses; it's the fact that most people look at a reef tank and think they are just weird looking plants. They don't understand the going rate of let's say a branch of frogspawn per head. Its pretty much an unspoken code, I know she didn't get those brand new leather boots as cheap as her "estimate", and she knows I exaggerated how cheap my stuff is. If you re read my post, I don't say that it's all cheap, I say that I got a good deal.

 

Dot get me wrong, I shave 5 or 10 bucks off the total price usually. Hell, the most I ever spent at most at one time was 50, and that was because she insisted on me getting a clownfish.

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I don't have to lie to anyone. My girlfriend knows that I have expensive hobbies, so she just does not ask. Sometimes I would volunteer the information on little things, but the price of the Apex controller went unmentioned :)

 

Our bills are paid, some money put away in savings/401k and what we do with the rest of our money is entirely up to each one of us.

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whofeelsitknowsit
Wow, not the kind of response I was expecting. She's asked me about picking stuff up for me and I've told her not unless I'm with her b j know what I can keep and wht I can't.

 

Wait, what? You won't tell her the truth unless she's giving you a blow job? That can't be a healthy relationship.

 

In any event, she's your girlfriend, not your wife. Why should she care how much you spend at the fish store?

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But why fudge the numbers? People should realize the love of your tank, and how expensive it really is (and I don't mean complete strangers but if asked by a friend why not). It should go to show that it is not a passing fancy, this is something you are into for the long haul.

I guess I am more involved in our saltwater systems at home. We currently have 4 tanks and I know what goes into it all the money, time and energy to maintain those tanks. Sorry for the over the top adverse reaction, lying/fibbing is something that gets me sometimes, of course I am told I am way to honest and to stop it. :flower:

Does it hurt anything by just letting her now, if she asks, how much everything cost?

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Wait, what? You won't tell her the truth unless she's giving you a blow job? That can't be a healthy relationship.

 

In any event, she's your girlfriend, not your wife. Why should she care how much you spend at the fish store?

Lmao that was supposed to be ***bc i***. She cares bc we are looking to get married soon, we've been together for about 3 years, and she grew up with. Well off, yet money conscious parents, so some of that had rubbed off on her. Her viewpoint on it is spend some money for fun, and save 90% of it. On the other hand, I look at it as we are both young without REAL careers( which is why we haven't become engaged yet), so if I can only afford to save up 50 bucks a week to put I. The bank, why should I do it now and be miserable with untouchable money when I know in the near future I will be making 50 dollars an hour.

 

Even still, I am saving to make her happy, just leaving out enough for maybe 20 bucks a month at lfs, and a dinner date and a movie once in a while, which he doesn't complain about that.

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Just tell her that its a investment and you plan on fragging coral to make money... Hell I use my tank as a tax write off for a "Reef Propagation Project." Its kinda like putting money in the bank.. just the intrest rate vs coral growth varies more :lol:

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Generally I dont spend money on the tank unless the money came from the tank or some other hobby. My wife and I live on a very low income as we are building up our landscaping business. If the money hasnt come from doing extra work like some freelance graphics stuff or something outside of work I dont generally spend it on the tank. There are rare occasions that I do but usually is when we have a good week and have some extra cash. We'll take equal amounts of play money.. If i want to spend 40 on something useless She gets to also :)

 

I like keeping things even and fair :) We work the same job doing the same hours its only fair we get the same play money ;)

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But why fudge the numbers? People should realize the love of your tank, and how expensive it really is (and I don't mean complete strangers but if asked by a friend why not).

She knows what my tank is worth roughly. I've told her before "oh, I might trade this for this" or "this I only a 5 dollar frag, I'm going to donate it to the hs environmental science class" and when I couldn't get ahold of an algae problem, I told her what I was expecting to get for the tank as a whole if I were to sell it as is. So she sees the picture as a whole, but she wouldn't understand why the 3 tiny polyps of zoas were 15 and the giant mass of Xenia is still not worth that much. She would just think it was stupid to buy it then, and j can't blame her. Every hobby has price ranges that when you look at from an outsiders point of view, you think wtf.

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I make sure I bring the wife with me find something really expensive then "settle" for what I really wanted to start with. The wife actually has picked out more exp. corals than I ever do. Oh yeah if you have kids and they love something you just gotta get for them.haha

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I make sure I bring the wife with me find something really expensive then "settle" for what I really wanted to start with. The wife actually has picked out more exp. corals than I ever do. Oh yeah if you have kids and they love something you just gotta get for them.haha

 

 

yeah If there is something that she really likes and it will work in the tank I usually try to grab it.. the more I can get her interested the better :)

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I make sure I bring the wife with me find something really expensive then "settle" for what I really wanted to start with. The wife actually has picked out more exp. corals than I ever do. Oh yeah if you have kids and they love something you just gotta get for them.haha

Haha, I actually wasn't even interested In a frag once, but every once in a while I'll let her choose something from the one frag tank at my lfs(5 or 10 dollars and usually easy softies, so whatever she picks I know I can handle) and she picked out one that looked like one she saw at a locksmiths shop the week before. The guy told me it was a type of shroom, so I bought it and now a few weeks later I find out it was actually a bud from torch coral. I have a thread about it on here somewhere. I only paid 5 bucks for it and it's doing great.

 

yeah If there is something that she really likes and it will work in the tank I usually try to grab it.. the more I can get her interested the better :)

My girlfriend was completely against my tank at first, but when I let her pick out the first "pretty flower "corals(Clove polyps) She started to get more into it. I've walked into my room and found her staring into my tank before with the moonlights on.

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my wife is becoming more and more knowledgeable, shes been answering questions that friends are asking about the tank. She does really enjoy the tank.. just not interested in going to the frag swaps I run every month.

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My girlfriend knows it's an expensive hobby to maintain. When it comes to my birthday or Valentine's Day or the holidays, she'll always buy me something nice for the tank. She's supportive so I don't lie. Then again, I lied to my ex all the time about it because she didn't come from much money and would argue with me every single time I got something towards the tank. She didn't want me to spend the money on her, but something "more useful for myself" or college, etc etc. Had to end up lying about buying certain things for the tank and the price of it just to avoid fighting over my favorite hobby, lol.

 

My gf now fortunately loves tanks. :lol:

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My wife and I have one bank account so to speak. If we want something and we can afford it, we'll buy it. If we don't, or we can't we don't. We both just act like adults about money and it's never been an issue.

 

I know people who when it's "their turn to buy" they spend as much as humanly possible (and way more than they can afford) because otherwise it's some how "wasted". They're also the ones who have been through bankruptcy a time or two.

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i have to disagreed with the expense of the hobby...it's not as high as many people thought off...maybe the initial investment on gears and corals...other than maintaining it, I don't see that much unless you like fruit stand tank, buying frag every month....sell to buy..best philosophy ever.....so you don't feel the hit :) sell my old freshwater crap to buy my first nanocube..sold the cube later to buy my shallow tank...i managed to covered min 85% of the cost by selling

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Since I have been bringing the Husband to the LFS with me he has been helping me pick out corals. Now he is staring at the tank more them me.

 

We have also agreed that he gets a new Laptop with the Tax return so the tank bulbs etc and whatnot are all something he likes now. I never lied to him about the cost of things, we share everything and I did get the initial that Clownfish cost what! reaction he just kind of sat back. We equal things out though, and in the end we both love the tank and want to fill it.

 

He is now talking frag tank and breeding system..... which I would have to run...... sounds like a bunch of fun for me!

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