hey Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 So has anyone had any success getting their spouse interested in the saltwater aquarium hobby? I am sure the majority of people experience the opposite but am curious to know if anyone has managed to get the hobby to become more of a family thing. Link to comment
Havok_9 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Hmm... mine enjoys the occasional visit to the LFS to look at stuff, possibly beg for the neat blonde naso that would look so cool in the 30 gallon. But not really. It doesnt help that when I get home for work I'm more likely to stop in front of the tank first before I greet her lol plus the whole money thing. and she doesn't really like animals. go figure. Are you trying to get yours into the SW hobby? Link to comment
TigerLily Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I could write a book. Mine is interested enough to tell me what to do, insist on certain fish and give the kids unrealistic expectations.... But not interested enough to actually learn anything about the tank. Bah humbug. The other night he had the kids whipped into a frenzy about feeding the fish some of the fried fish we had for dinner that night. I am the lorax, I speak for the reef! Keep your greasy fried pollution away from my fish. Link to comment
Angel<3Nanos Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I've been very unsuccessful as well. Link to comment
Dramad1 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Hmm... mine enjoys the occasional visit to the LFS to look at stuff, possibly beg for the neat blonde naso that would look so cool in the 30 gallon. But not really. It doesnt help that when I get home for work I'm more likely to stop in front of the tank first before I greet her lol plus the whole money thing. and she doesn't really like animals. go figure. Same here just about to the t. Link to comment
Arkayology Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 GL with that. My wife hates my tank and only tolerates it because I let her buy shoes and nail polish. Link to comment
hey Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 A lot of this sounds very similar to my situation, thinks its pretty, has zero interest in all the cool stuff going on inside, hates how much it costs but tolerates it because it's my thing. For me I would like to have a hobby we could do together, go to conventions, snorkel, that sort of thing. She doesn't seem to really have "hobbies" outside of doing family activities with the kids so I am already involved with what she considers her hobby lol. I did get a trip to the columbus zoo out of her recently because it was a fun trip for our oldest son. Got to see the aquarium too which was cool. Link to comment
TristanC Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I can get her to visit the lfs with me from time to time but she thinks its a waste of time and money for the most part. Link to comment
Spiderguardnano Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 My girlfriend hates my tank lol she rather wait in the car than get down at my lfs lol I'll be following along Link to comment
Angel<3Nanos Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Reading all these stories gives me so much deja vu lol Link to comment
LynkUK Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Mine, luckily has her own freshwater tank and doesn't mind any trips to the LFS, BUT if she really knew how much I have spent on my tank so far, she would have a fit lol! Link to comment
Havok_9 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Mine, luckily has her own freshwater tank and doesn't mind any trips to the LFS, BUT if she really knew how much I have spent on my tank so far, she would have a fit lol! Lol what's that saying, my biggest fear when I die is my wife will sell my reef for what I told her I paid for it. I always get over excited when she brings up something reef related on her own, and I totally geek out on her using using words that might as well be some made up language. Then I sadly realize she mentally checked out of the conversation about 10 seconds or less into it. Link to comment
Arkayology Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 My girlfriend hates my tank lol she rather wait in the car than get down at my lfs lol This is what my wife does lol. Link to comment
4x5 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I don't like shopping, my girlfriend doesn't care about my tank. We can live with that. Get a hobby you both like if you want to spend more time together. Link to comment
gus6464 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 My wife loves Bettas and has her own Fluval Spec with one. Other than that she doesn't care much about anything else. She says my planted tank is "ok" so hopefully she will like my new reef tank more. Link to comment
ghostgr Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 My wife is interested in everything with the hobby just not so much the science. She will help with everything but the "chores" lol cant complain though she enjoys all my other hobbies. Link to comment
tibbsy07 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 My wife used to hate the tank. Now she's into it. I got her into it by "letting her plan" it by asking here what she likes (out of stuff I liked and pre-selected), where the tank should go, etc. I know what corals she likes and what livestock, so now I always make sure that she has her own coral. The big thing, though... Make sure you are giving your SO time. We all love our tanks but we have loved ones that need attention, too. Make sure your significant others feel like they are more of a priority than the tank. When my wife thought I was obsessing over the tank and shirking my other duties or our time together it was hell for my tank. Now, she's into it big time - even forcing my hand on certain equipment because it looks nicer and is better for "her corals"! She asks that I should consult her for coral placement, too Link to comment
hey Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 My wife used to hate the tank. Now she's into it. I got her into it by "letting her plan" it by asking here what she likes (out of stuff I liked and pre-selected), where the tank should go, etc. I know what corals she likes and what livestock, so now I always make sure that she has her own coral. The big thing, though... Make sure you are giving your SO time. We all love our tanks but we have loved ones that need attention, too. Make sure your significant others feel like they are more of a priority than the tank. When my wife thought I was obsessing over the tank and shirking my other duties or our time together it was hell for my tank. Now, she's into it big time - even forcing my hand on certain equipment because it looks nicer and is better for "her corals"! She asks that I should consult her for coral placement, too I do have a quite a few things in tank per her request, clowns/torch coral/frogspawn stuff I wouldn't have necessarily added. Also when I upgraded I wasn't going to keep clowns in the tank, well that wasn't going to happen as far as she was concerned clowns are the only saltwater fish worth having lol although she does like the royal gramma. I'm not saying my wife isn't supportive of the hobby I was more or less hoping to find suggestions on things people have done and noted their spouse seems to take more of an interest in the hobby as a whole. Link to comment
Lawnman Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I will say my wife likes the tank. She hates when I get water drops on her hardwood floor but doesn't say much anymore. She knows how much the stuff cost from when we set up the first tank. She gets to buy her candles and whatever she wants so I think she is fine with it. She fills up the ATO when it starts slurping and even wipes off the stand and glass. Her favorite thing about the tank is the ATI light she thinks it looks sleek Link to comment
tibbsy07 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I do have a quite a few things in tank per her request, clowns/torch coral/frogspawn stuff I wouldn't have necessarily added. Also when I upgraded I wasn't going to keep clowns in the tank, well that wasn't going to happen as far as she was concerned clowns are the only saltwater fish worth having lol although she does like the royal gramma. I'm not saying my wife isn't supportive of the hobby I was more or less hoping to find suggestions on things people have done and noted their spouse seems to take more of an interest in the hobby as a whole. That was how I got my wife into the hobby - as much as she will be. I'm cool with having this as my own hobby and her just being interested enough to like my tank and the stuff in it. Link to comment
Sk8n Reefer Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 My wife has become really interested in the tank- since she is home everyday working on her art projects she is responsible for the day feedings and does a great job. The whole " live rock" captures her attention and she is really interested in all the little creatures that keep coming out. Fish stores are kinda hit or miss- but I don't push for that. She enjoys food preparation for the evening feedings and I let her handle that part also. We are generally sitting in front of the tank more with a magnifying lens going over every hole and crack and coral and leaving the TV off more and more. When we pick out coral- I tend to chose a few and let her make the final decision- but I can always " trump" her decision. The whole 5 gallon buckets sitting around is what "bugs" her the most so I've been good about cleaning up from water changes - ASAP. I've been letting her play with the camera and Macro lens a little and that has also seemed to give her another avenue for interest. She's been amazed at the growth but is skeptical waiting for " I think we need a larger tank" discussion that I keep hinting at. Overall, I happy with her level of involvement ! Link to comment
RK_tek Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 My tank is what sealed the deal for my girlfriend, several years later, I get the occasional complaint when I spend more time on the tank than on her. She likes the tank bc it's 'pretty' but could care less about what makes it run. A trip to the Georgia aquarium really got her interested in all the different marine environments. On a recent trip to visit a city we may relocate to, she put several aquarium stores on the itenarary bc she knows it's important to me. I think I'll keep her Link to comment
cindyp Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 ironically, i think my hub has always been more fascinated by sea life and the sea than i have. (i'm a little afraid of being in the actual ocean--as i'm a poor swimmer.) i decided to learn how to dive because of him. having said that, i'm the one that does all the managing of the tanks, and enjoy it very much. he does like to look, but he is totally hands off. he, in turn, does marathons and triathlons for a "hobby". no thanks. i think i'd rather give birth again. hang in there for those whose significant others actually do NOT like the hobby though. that's really tough. but relationships are about compromise. there certainly are worse "vices". ha! Link to comment
ninjamyst Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 i think the lesson learned here is to start this hobby before getting married and only date fellow reefers... my wife hates my tanks and every time i bring up a 3rd bigger tank, i get the death stare. Link to comment
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