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tibbsy07 IM10


tibbsy07

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Do!Aqua and ADA do not require a wooden crate for shipping unless you get their 75-P tanks or larger - they responded to my email SUPER quickly. That doesn't help my decision either, and Teeny your damn reef has me even considering the 4g AIO still - how DARE YOU????? I kid, but damn. I cant quite pull the trigger. Might mean I'm not ready for a tank yet.

 

:lol: Sorry to make things hard!

 

No tank progress. Metrokat was in Atlanta this past week and we were going to try and meet up, but it didn't end up happening. Sadface.jpg

 

Baby news - our son will be entering the world some time in the next 14 days. Due date is a week but the hospital will induce if my wife goes a week over. Pretty exciting!

 

Random thoughts as I have been lurking in various forums, threads, articles, etc. - I really wish I had the room and money and time to have a dedicated reef tank experiment lab/room where I could experimentally test the random claims people come up with (oxydator, nano-bubbles, etc. I am lookinn at you...)

I'm so excited for you! You're about to go on a great wild and crazy ride. The good news is after the next couple weeks you probably won't be nearly as conflicted about what to do with your tank plans because you'll be in a permanently altered state of consciousness :P

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Hahaha yeah I am pretty excited. I think I have decided on the Do!Aquas or the jbj 3g. Both are great tanks. Aquamaxx has some new tanks out, too, but I think I'll go with one of my original plans. I already have enough stuff to have a nice non-aio pico, so the aio would just costing me more and leaving me with stuff I'm not using and really dont have the space for. I can rock my Tide and AC70/intank combo with my ATO (may end up swapping to a gravity fed one for space) and maybe get a skimmer box or something. I really want a mame skimmer but it probably isnt needed

 

I'm in no hurry. Lots of planning and drawing and figuring. Baby and life take priority and I'm done with slapping atuff together to get into the hobby asap and then spending tons of money and time fixing things later because I didnt do them correctly the first time.

 

At some point I'll post about why I have had a hard time in the hobby until now (not just this hobby), but suffice to say, mental health is important folks.

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At some point I'll post about why I have had a hard time in the hobby until now (not just this hobby), but suffice to say, mental health is important folks.

 

So true. Take care of yourself and your family. :flower:

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So true. Take care of yourself and your family. :flower:

Thanks- we're all doing really well. Just waiting on our son to arrive - any day at this point!

 

 

 

 

Ok, update on me and why I suck at keeping tanks!

So many of you know me either through here, personally, or through FB and those who are closest know that I have long had anxiety and depression. I've never kept that fact hidden. I don't go out of my way to discuss it, but it's definitely no secret. Another thing about me, as many people here know, is that I am plagued by constant dissatisfaction with my tanks and I set extremely lofty goals for this hobby and never achieve them. What many people don't know is that this issue plagues not just reefing, but every hobby or interest I have ever had. I quickly get involved with a hobby, set a crazy high goal, and then obsess over it - tinkering, optimizing, trying to get everything exactly right before I move on to the next step - until I realize I'm not progressing or that my goal is unattainable, at which point I become disillusioned and lose interest, switching over to some other hobby.

 

It's all become clear now :) It turns out, I don't have anxiety and depression as previously thought, or at least not as standalone complexes. I have OCD, and my symptoms lead to anxiety and depression (as many with OCD know). But recently while doing some work and getting doctored and stuff, it became clear. The lack of ability to sustain a hobby and my OCD are linked. I quickly become obsessed with the hobby, and pursue an extremely lofty goal with obsessive and compulsive behaviors - reading, researching, tinkering, optimizing, etc. - to the point at which I am either unable to proceed or am unhappy with my lack of getting everything perfect, and it makes me angry and depressed, which then causes me to quit and go do something else.

 

The work I am doing right now is to try to get myself to set smaller, obtainable goals - definitive timelines with legitimate end points that I cna achieve. No more "I want to have a perfect tank with perfect water and perfect rockscape and blah blah blah" - now it will be "get X tank by Y month." "In 1 month's time, have rock good to go, and the cycle done" "By two months, have a fish and a few pieces of coral" "Keep a log to maintain water quality" etc.

 

tl;dr - OCD sucks, I have it, it has made having any normal hobby difficult, I've figured it out with help from professionals, I'm working on lots of things, and a tank is definitely doable with the right goals in mind.

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My wife came up with an idea this weekend to remove my tinkering optimizing etc, lol

 

This weekend we went to a nice LFS and my wife saw the red sea reefer series tanks. She asked how they were different from AIOs and I explained them. She then said "Wait, it comes with everything you need and it all works together because it was designed to?! No upgrades and such?!" And I replied that it would require a light, skimmer, return pump but that other than that it was good to go.

 

She now thinks I should get the Red Sea Reefer Nano... If I have everything set out already and dont have to plan everything, it will be easier.

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My wife came up with an idea this weekend to remove my tinkering optimizing etc, lol

 

This weekend we went to a nice LFS and my wife saw the red sea reefer series tanks. She asked how they were different from AIOs and I explained them. She then said "Wait, it comes with everything you need and it all works together because it was designed to?! No upgrades and such?!" And I replied that it would require a light, skimmer, return pump but that other than that it was good to go.

 

She now thinks I should get the Red Sea Reefer Nano... If I have everything set out already and dont have to plan everything, it will be easier.

 

WOOHOO. Join the Red Sea Reefer club =). I love my 350 and I am sure you will love the Nano. Although I still find myself tinkering with skimmer / reactor / etc.

 

But having a sump will make your life a lot easier.

 

Also want to say I appreciate you for sharing your OCD and depression story. My wife has depression and our marriage was falling apart. We started marriage counseling 3 years ago and it has helped tremendously. I always joke that my wife is a perfectionist and has OCD. We never thought about OCD leading to depression so it will be a nice topic to explore for our next therapy session.

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WOOHOO. Join the Red Sea Reefer club =). I love my 350 and I am sure you will love the Nano. Although I still find myself tinkering with skimmer / reactor / etc.

 

But having a sump will make your life a lot easier.

 

Also want to say I appreciate you for sharing your OCD and depression story. My wife has depression and our marriage was falling apart. We started marriage counseling 3 years ago and it has helped tremendously. I always joke that my wife is a perfectionist and has OCD. We never thought about OCD leading to depression so it will be a nice topic to explore for our next therapy session.

Lol we dont have the space or money for the red sea series right now. Maybe once we get a different place.

 

As for OCD and stuff - thanks. It's been a rough road, especially before we didnt know exactly why treatment and stuff wasnt fixing the anxiety. The three are linked but they are each definitely different things, like a venn diagram. It's been good to figure it out finally.

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Lol we dont have the space or money for the red sea series right now. Maybe once we get a different place.

 

As for OCD and stuff - thanks. It's been a rough road, especially before we didnt know exactly why treatment and stuff wasnt fixing the anxiety. The three are linked but they are each definitely different things, like a venn diagram. It's been good to figure it out finally.

The Red Sea Nano is only 18", but I agree, that's quite a bit bigger than a pico.

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences with OCD. It's a condition that often goes unrecognized, and it really helps to be aware of it in daily life. I'm inspired :)

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The Red Sea Nano is only 18", but I agree, that's quite a bit bigger than a pico.

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences with OCD. It's a condition that often goes unrecognized, and it really helps to be aware of it in daily life. I'm inspired :)

We have very little room in our place - plus I question the support. I tried to hang pictures and there is 48" between studs... I dont want to put too much weight on the floor.
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Now the question is whether I go with the reefer nano or the reefer 170... Definitely doing a nanobox duo build for the tank. Will go hybrid if I end up with the 170. Definitely white or gray with a bamboo lid, though.

 

I'll have to research a return pump and a good skimmer - both of which I have never really looked into because i've always had tank that never needed these items.

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Well this morning our little reefer decided to join us! We have a healthy 8lb 2oz baby boy. Mom went all natural and is doing great!

post-42107-0-00013500-1461847360_thumb.jpeg

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HarryPotter

Now the question is whether I go with the reefer nano or the reefer 170... Definitely doing a nanobox duo build for the tank. Will go hybrid if I end up with the 170. Definitely white or gray with a bamboo lid, though.

 

I'll have to research a return pump and a good skimmer - both of which I have never really looked into because i've always had tank that never needed these items.

 

 

I vote for a Jebao DCT4000. Has pretty darn good reviews, a feed mode button (timer) so you don't filter out your food, and adjustable flow. 10 speed adjustable to 1000gph, lotsa flow.

 

Skimmer... Bubble Magnus curve 5 seems popular but I don't know.

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  • 1 month later...

Well this morning our little reefer decided to join us! We have a healthy 8lb 2oz baby boy. Mom went all natural and is doing great!

A little Angel straight from heaven.

Get back up and running with something Tibbsy. we miss your frequent posts. And also remember to enjoy the ride much more than reaching the destination. Just have fun with your tanks and let them lead you where they may.

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Well this morning our little reefer decided to join us! We have a healthy 8lb 2oz baby boy. Mom went all natural and is doing great!

Adorable! Congrats, you are in for the ride of your life!

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A little Angel straight from heaven.

Get back up and running with something Tibbsy. we miss your frequent posts. And also remember to enjoy the ride much more than reaching the destination. Just have fun with your tanks and let them lead you where they may.

Baby is 8 weeks old and putting his parents through hoops by being a baby. :)

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  • 1 month later...

Baby is doing great but keeping us busy. Giving me lots of time to plan... Definitely going to do a pico. I've decided that I am going to try and find a used pico tank locally. The JBJ pico still calls to me but I dont really want to spend 55 bucks for it because I dont need the light or hob. I'm trying to find one here used amd cheaper... LFS has a japanese up-aqua rimless "white glass" 5g tank for $55. They also sell 10g dennerle nano cube systems... They looked really nice. But again, those cost 150 and come with a light and filter I dont need (but also a glass lid)

 

That being said I am really planning this one out. Ac70 with the 30 impeller, intank media basket, going to make a DIY surface skimmer on the intake tube for the ac.

 

I'll be using my nanobox tide but Inhave a bluefish mini and a storm controller for it. The only issue is that if I've got it at work, then to use wifi I have to login under a guest network. I dont mind this but I am afraid there might be problems with the bluefish if the network drops. Will the bluefish work even if wifi drops, just I wont be able to control it?

 

I think this tank will likely have a single rock island. I am still debating on sand.

 

For media I am unsure. i may run chaeto with a light in the ac70, but I may just stick to carbon and gfo. Honestly, the little chrmipure blue packs seem nice. 1 pack per 5g, lasts a month. Easy to work with and dispose of at work.

 

For an ATO I still have my tunze 3152, but I may just rig up a gravity ato of some kind. At my desk I dont want too much water around because a leak or overflow would be devastating. I could just use the tunze with a smaller reservoir but it takes up space in the tank, too.

 

For test kits I will likely go with salifert.

 

Livestock will be rics, zoas, shrooms, hammers, acans. Maybe a small flower nem. Pom pom crab, a few snails, and a goby or two.

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Looks like a good plan!

 

The bluefish controller is nice. In some ways I honestly prefer the Storm just because it's so quick to use when all I want to do is turn the lights up to full intensity or switch them off, as compared to firing up the app on the phone, logging in, and pushing a couple more buttons to get where I need to go.

 

But the photo setting is nice, and the programming is more flexible.

 

If you lose internet, the light just keeps running with the program that was already set. It's not designed to be off the net for long periods of time, but intermittent outages shouldn't affect it. The only problem is if it loses power and is not connected when power is restored, the programming can't be restored until it gets back on the internet.

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Glad to see you back in the saddle. Congratulation on the addittion to the family. Raising two girls was the most challenging and rewarding occupation that I have had in 68 years. Enjoy the ride.

 

With respect to your OCD, I am a Gemini and am compulsive excessive. It makes for an interesting life. I have always valued your post and knowledge. I continue to copy "microbial overlords".

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  • 2 weeks later...

Aaaaaaaaaand

 

 

 

 

 

Someone has stolen my credit card so my card is locked/cancelled and I have to wait on another one.

 

On the bright side my AC70 is 8.25" long and the Up-Aqua low iron rimless 5mm thick 5g I looked at today while at lunch has an internal width of 8.5" meaning I can set one up as a peninsula... If the fates ever allow me to

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Fortunately they caught it with only a $1.23 charge so nothing major but it just sucks I have to wait longer.

 

I mentioned my OCD before and how it makes things hard, especially hobbies. My therapist and I have been talking and we think it might be possible to use a reef as therapy. It's a bit of a stretch but maybe.

 

The idea is that my tank will be my zen garden. In my therapy we use a lot of Eastern philosophies and Buddhist works. The major piece is being present, focusing on current tasks/situations and trying to stay rooted where we are rather than letting our minds go running away and causing more problems. I use the following example to explain my OCD to people: i know I have to walk a distance and cross 20 bridges. In my mind I assume every bridge is burnig so I start every walk with 20 buckets of water just in case. It takes a lot of energy to carry all that water, especially when for all I know, there are no bridges on fire. How this translates to therapy and being mindful is that I need to focus on the walk itself and only worry about burning bridges if there are burning bridges to worry about.

 

Our idea is that having a simple reef system would be similar to having a simple garden, aomething that is often used as part of mindfulness practice. It is going to have to be very simple and i'm going to have to work hard to be happy with what it is and not try and over-think and tinker with the system. Keep it simple stupid, take good care of it, and be content with the tank even when things arent great because it's all temporary. Weeky maintenance will be my weekly "meditative" practice.

 

We'll see

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